Motherhood

I told Lyzzie the other week that nothing could have prepared me for how hard it is.  She agreed.  It got me pondering on my life before the babies came, and the different lessons I've learned.  The one thing that is comparable to having children is my mission.  The mission was all encompassing and difficult, so much that it easily compares to motherhood.  I look back on my mission with some honest regrets-I could have worked a little harder, I could have studied a little more, I could have thought about home a lot less, I could have thought less about boys back at home, I could have forgotten myself a lot more, I could have been mentally there a lot more, etc, etc.  I own these regrets, they are mine; and they taught me and continue to teach me.

 I don't want to look back on my children's childhood with regrets.  I know I will because I still have so much growing to do myself, but why learn the same lessons twice?  I want to mentally and physically be present.  This is their childhood and I want to put myself off for them.  I want each day to be better than the one before it.  These days will eventually be numbered, and I'll be a lot older looking back at them-hopefully my regrets will be few and I'll be able to say that I was the best mom I could have been.